once upon a time

Every story has a beginning. This is mine.

Almost ten years ago, I met my husband. We had quite an unconventional courtship – we are both gamers, and met on an MMORPG (massively multiplayer online role-playing game, for those of you non-geeks reading this). What started in-game moved to e-mails, then phone, until we finally met in person and began dating. We dated for a few years before getting married. And we lived happily ever after.

Mostly.

All couples reach a point in their relationship, a huge fork in the road where they must decide which path to take. Children or no children? For my husband and I, it was a no-brainer. “We’re ready. Let’s start a family.” We reached our one-year anniversary and decided unanimously that we wanted children starting then. Together, we stared down our new path with hearts full of excitement and hope for the future.

Little by little, our hope began to wither with each month that passed with no baby. The first few months, it is easy to brush it off. After six months, I started to worry that something may be wrong. After a year, we booked an appointment with my OBGYN. She did all the necessary bloodwork, but the only thing she noticed was that my progesterone levels were “slightly” low. Because we had been trying a year, however, she booked us with a nearby reproductive endocrinologist (RE) and thus, we began our first attempt at infertility treatment.

During this first attempt, I was diagnosed with “unexplained infertility,” which basically means, “We don’t have a clue what the issue is.” They even did a laparoscopy on me, only to find that one fallopian tube never developed. But, I was told that should not affect conception at all (only that multiple births are a very bad idea for me). I should also mention that I have thyroid dysfunction, but that was not once addressed by my RE. My husband was checked and given a clean bill of health. The problem is most definitely me, but what the problem is, is a mystery.

**Now, I have some serious issues with REs, and with “unexplained infertility” as a diagnosis (or at least my own personal RE, because I’m sure not all are the same), but I’ll save that for another post.**

We have tried infertility treatments (including meds and trigger shots and IUIs) off and on for almost five years now, with no luck. Years of heartbreak have taken their toll, and I have decided that I am done with having treatments shoved down my throat without any attempts to identify and fix my underlying problems.

I have begun focusing inward. Weight loss, getting off blood pressure meds, and making my body as baby-ready as possible are just a few of my goals. I would love to know if any of you are following a similar path, and if so, what types of things you are doing.

~*~

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